xMercilessCult

Well. I havent been on deviantart in forever and Im about 95% sure no one will read this, but I've changed a lot over the past few weeks, months, and junk but Im still me.
I've gone through a lot of shit and theres a lot of stories and memories, good and bad, that are yet to be told to anyone.

I dated a few boys, messed around with a few girls, did a few things Im proud of, did a few things Im not so proud of.
Pretty much the same old same old, but this time it was kind of different. After these past events just from this last school year and summer I've changed alot.
I've learned a lot. And I kind of feel like a new and different person.

It bugs me when I see old friends that I thought I could trust or just friends I've lost touch with and dont talk to anymore. Its hurts and its actually rather disturbing to me.
some of the people I use to talk to daily, I maybe talk to every three or four months now, or not at all.
Its truly very saddening and I rarely talk to anyone anymore.

I just sometimes wish things would change and just go back to the way they were, when I was friendly and talked to everyone and trusted everyone I had before. But I guess as time passes, people change.

Shit happens and its kind of getting old.

Its annoying and it needs to stop.
Whats really terrible is that even though I've cut myself off of those people who hurt me the most that made me happy whenever I saw them or even woke up to a text from, I still feel sort of empty and broken with out them.

after all the times I told myself life would be so much easier If they werent there. It sort of still got harder but it was a harsher emotional and physical pain and its just fucked up.

I feel fucked up as it is.

and without those people who I thought made me feel that horrible pain made it worse.

Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time and fix whatever I said to make them go away
Or even fix the parts where we were drifting apart.

All I'm trying to say is that I've changed and everyone else around me has changed and I kind of want things to go back to how they would be but I dont think that will ever happen.

My dog just farted.

It smells gross.

That is all.

SO I WENT TO GO TAKE PICTURES OF MY BUBBLES FROM MY BUBBLE BATH



AND I TRY TO TURN ON MY CAMERA

BUT GUESS WHAT



THE FUCKING BATTERIES ARE DEAD



LETS SEE WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO USE MY CAMERA?


MY FUCKING SISTER


YOU STUPID HO YOU OWE ME NEW BATTERIES.

YOU TOOK MY EXTRAS FOR THE DVD PLAYER REMOTE SO GO BUY ME SOME MORE KAY

Last night I went to see D'espairs Ray

AND LIKE I MET THEM ALL

ANDANDAND
I GOT THEIR SPIT IN MY MOUTH
mixed with water
BUT STILL



I got my poster signed, and they were so fucking cute in person.

Like I honestly thought they wouldnt be THAT attractive in person.

I am the happiest person alive right now.

So. Im just saying.


Im not going to be here tomorrow, saturday, or sunday. Im going to michigan with who I have been with sinceeeee monday night xD